I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
