He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
