I wish I could punch you in the face.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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