this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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