Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
