I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
