The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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