i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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