I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
