PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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