Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
