Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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