Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
