He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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