her vagine was all disorganized.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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