Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
