my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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