I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
