oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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