Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
