so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
