And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
