I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
