If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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