think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
