I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is my gift to your gina
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
