Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
