oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Please don't give away my fajitas
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
