One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
