I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
