Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Randomize
