Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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