Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You pole danced in your parka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
