what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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