Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
