You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
