I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
