he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
