and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
