Duck Duck Cougar?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
