i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
