all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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