me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
