he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
