so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
