More tranny stories later!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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