I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
