How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
