I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
