i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
